Family

It has been sweet for the last 2 days do you have conversations with all of my children..  Tricia visited today with Hannah and Rudy and I gave her the slide that I have been trying to get around to installing for months now.  I also gave her outdoor chair that swivels and rocks and if it's not used by Rudy will be a comfortable place for those who need to tend him.  Yesterday I gave up ox of cake making pans and supports to Sela who loves to bake and loves to watch others bake on TV and YouTube.  She and her sister we're excited and diverted by the prospect of making cakes with the various sizes pans I'm supporting them on the various faces I also gave them my cupcake racks.  The process of opening the large box that contained all the bacon gear then trying to fit it back in again when they were finished examining it was very diverting from the topic I was talking to their parents about, my cancer.  Jacqueline and Diana came by yesterday to offer what help I might need and I enlisted them in doing the test but they stopped doing a couple of months ago when they felt at favor exposing me my continuing to come into my house given the current virus problem.   The gadianton robbers are abroad in the land, instigating violent and destructive demonstrations.  Secret combinations invest the governments of the world hand in the name of freedom the most innocent among Us the babies arer being killed..  other than having a tumor damaging my health I have a very comfortable life most of all I value the love of my family.  My physical condition has improved radically since the  urinary tract infection that was identified at the hospital has been under treatment with sulfa drugs cantharis and .cranberry pellets. 

Prepare to Die

On Friday evening I began to feel really poorly difficulty breathing and general malaise.  I called my daughter Nancy to come and help me out she drove me to the hospital where  they treated me is an active covid-19 patient initially.  I thought that my problem stemmed from something like a bleeding ulcer or another bleeding tumor and that I had low blood levels.  I gave me a cardio exam and then begin to do X-rays not long after which they took me down to the CAT scan room and get upper and lower scans.  Good news was that my little animals are in good area play there's nothing wrong with my heart however the doctor tells me I have a mass you're my spine between my kidneys and from his description is fairly extensive including spots on my lungs.  For a little over a year I've been suffering from vague back aches the real orientales lately.  This was probably a sign of the tumor slowly growing.  I send out an email to All My children telling them of what I have been told.  Their responses were sympathetic and sensitive.  Mary brought her family for a visit and I realize that it was a good time to give Sela who's talented and interested in baking buy stock of wedding pans and supports for making wedding cakes.  I appreciated Mary bringing some pain pills,. I will likely choose palliative care, hopefully carried out at home.  Most of the preparation I need to make have already been accomplished. 

Diana's birthday

I drove over to the Hancock house this afternoon with two boxes of pastels two pieces of sanded pastel paper and a phone car rental to use as an easel support a drawing.  Diana should me a couple of pastel drawings she has done using my set a still implement she got for Christmas and a book of pastel paper I gave her then.  I continue to struggle to eat enough food of the right kind.

Lazy Tuesday

I accomplished a few things today possibly the most important was that I determining that there were three screw holes and that they are big enough to accommodate the bolts that I purchased to fasten the slide to the slide Tower.  I made some shrimp with noodles but probably because the shrimp was boiled instead of fried or otherwise cooked it was somewhat bland.  I gave about a third of it to Richard.  My stomach has been a little uncomfortable but not as painful as on other occasions.

Food

I made some oyster stew this evening which I wasn't sure would be okay.  It motivated me to send off some e-mails in the event I managed to poison myself.  So far it seems I'm okay.  Reprise burps are nasty but my stomach and lower parts seem relatively unaffected.  I sent money to Mary after visiting the bank and got both a raspberry shake and some Parrot Island Shrimp before stopping by to see Lucinda's family..  I think I may have ingested sufficient calories today.

Oh sweet memory foam

I had originally planned to return to Jordanelle Reservoir but I changed my mind after a night of misery because of the firm mattress in the cabin and the need to drive each time I had to use the bathroom.  After aching and feeling pain and fatigue almost continually for several reasons and waking to a sleety morning, I decided that my return to Provo would be one way.  I made it home without stopping although I was doubtful I could do it without pulling off the road to recoup.  I immediately went to my room and took refuge on my bed and didn't wake from restful sleep for several hours.  Last night's sleep was pretty much painless.  Needless to say I texted those who were gathering at the reservoir that I wouldn't be joining them. 

I drove to Jordanelle

This is my first time at the reservoir although I've driven past it many times.  Nancy rented a cabin and camp sites and a boat slip.  I'm going back to Provo tomorrow and returning on Sunday to spend two more days.  I have been useful by being on shore with Talitha while David ventured out on the lake with his paddle board.

Fatigue or Anemia?

I have been eating more but I am still far from feeling well.  A little exercise, like walking out to the chicken coop, exhausts me and my back muscles burn.  I plan to drive up to join Nancy at the lake tomorrow.  Mostly just so she won't be alone in her camp.  I offer very little chance of really helping her with boating or other endeavors.  I have begun eating apricot pits again with the possibility that I have a rumor.  It is possible I suffer from some kind of infection.  Maybe I'll recover. 

Varied Diet

It has been some time since I have eaten something that set my innards on fire.  On the other hand I continue to operate at a significant deficit of energy.  It is somewhat similar to how I felt when I had severe anemia because of my gut tumor.  Today I didn't do very much.  I watched some romantic comedies and some youtube homesteading videos and ate a fairly varied assortment of food.  I plan to drive to Jordanelle reservoir to join Nancy for the Memorial Day weekend on Friday and Saturday, then come home on Saturday night, spend Sunday at home and return to the Lake on Monday. 

shopping

Early on the morning of Tuesday is my shopping time I go to Walmart. Because I wear a mask I ride a cart that lets me sit down as a tool around the store and pick up. Items.  Since I get up around 5 to get to the store by 6 I make it part of my plan to go back to bed when I get home.  I plan for a very little other things to do on Tuesdays because of my limited energy.  Today I started out A-frame and sketch paper for Jacqueline to use in preparing for the exhibit at Riverside country club.  I watch The fifth Element which is supposed to be an anti-war science fiction film but which is actually mostly a comedy.

another Sunday

We got into a discussion of books at our Zoom Sunday family meeting.  David requested that I send information on some of my favorite authors and series so I did so in an email.  My membership in audible has been that I have probably accessed more authors than I would have otherwise.  my interest in Reading either listening to audible or paper books has declined somewhat with my energy. I have developed a craving for fresh red grapes which are available at Sprouts.  I'm going to check the availability of pick up from the store in the morning but I may go ahead and get delivery.  I also plan to shop at Walmart on Tuesday early in the morning and I may order a mat for underneath the slide.  I didn't let the chickens out today partly because of the neighborhood project of looking for pictures of Jesus in the windows of neighbors.  It is past time for me to plant my wildflowers in the plantagenets in the backyard.

Lord of the rings

Having skimmed through The Hobbit movies mostly zipping through the battle scenes, I was more than ready to watch the far superior series, lord of the Rings.  However my DVD player on my laptop would not recognize or accept the discs.  Finally somewhat late in the evening Richard I was able to get my Blu-ray player going and the discs seem to be working.  Meanwhile today my grand daughter had her graduation party on Zoom.  I excused myself to get my chickens in after listening to them play participation game for a while.

More Hobbit

The Hobbit is really quite boring.  Sententious and overdone.  Some of the scenes are effective and the characters sympathetic but too much is resting on a fragile base.  I didn't accomplish anything much today.  I had a strange assortment of food but my digestion is only mildly bothered. 

Hobbit

Today I watched the first of the Jackson 'Hobbit' movies which includes entirely too much monster crushing and improbable survival.  I also vacuumed the rug in the front room which was my most intended project for today.  The bathroom is quite pleasant after a deep cleaning.  I plan to use the rack from the bathroom in my bedroom to hold my silk comforter overnight now that the weather is warmer.  I want to return to the routine of making my bed each morning instead of only straightening the top cover. 

Indulgence

I wanted something full of calories that tempted my finicky appetite.  Today I published the UVAG May Newsletter.  Before taking the mailers out to the Post Office I tried to secure the feeder wall with the hardware I purchased but I realized that I will have to return to finish the job when the feeder is empty.  I was sitting in the coop to do the work so I returned to the house and showered and put on clean clothing.  Then I went out to do the mailing and also deposit the stimulus check.  I stopped at Red Lobster and got coconut shrimp and a lobster pizza along with a raspberry lemonade from curbside pickup.  The raspberry lemonade had no ice in it but I put fresh ice from filtered water in it when I got home.  I had cleaned the bathroom very early in the morning and locked myself out, but I was able to unlock the room this morning.  I also cleaned and dried a load of laundry so all in all it has been a fairly busy day considering my energy deficit.  I also called Eliza on messenger for the art lesson but they hadn't done the lesson.  She was making a meal for another family so didn't talk for long.  My tender new law is coming up. 

Early and Late

I got up early enough to get to Walmart before six AM.  I took a handicapped cart to do my shopping since the mask puts me at risk of fainting.  When I got home and put away the most perishable items I went back to sleep.  Later I went out with a drill and saw and cut the 'planks' for my swing bench to fit the various intrusions from the pipe frame of the bench.  Later still I went out and drove some screws to initially secure the planks so they won't be casually knocked aside.  I need to do more securing, but at least it should be good enough for now.  Tomorrow I should fill the waterer for the hens and put the hardware in place to better secure the feeding wall.  It feels good to take a few steps forward even when it isn't much.  I need to get out a newsletter for the UVAG and deposit my stimulus check tomorrow.

Swing reboot

20 years ago I moved to Provo and prepared for the wedding of my youngest daughter, Eliza.  I designed a structure for the rear of our yard that would hold a swinging bench.  It is still there and looks better than I might have suspected it would do after two decades.  Someone broke a slat and I decided to put on a new seat using vinyl fencing rails recovered from a planter I had the boys dismantle in order to extend the lawn we planted last year.  I cut the rails to near the size that they need to be today with a few adjustments.  I received all my items from Amazon including a pale blue dress that should be suitable for summer wear. 

Motherhood

Being a mother in all it's different aspects has been by far the most significant part of my life.  There is nothing sweeter or more completing than to nurse a tiny child to satisfaction.  It is the great tragedy of the evil conspiracy that robbed my granddaughter Rochelle of her core meaning that it meant the sacrifice of her breasts.  The only evil greater than the denial of real gender and its meaning is abortion.  There is nothing in the scriptures that quite equates to this modern day horror.  I am so sorry for the damage that was done in the name of ideology.  I had a sweet Sunday, visiting with family via video and sharing a sacrament ordinance with my son Richard.  I am truly blessed.

Back to the Future

I spent most of the afternoon and evening watching the Science Fiction series 'Back to the Future'.  It was a fun watch with plenty of suspenseful drama even though I had watched it several times before and knew the endings of each movie.  It is easy to forget the middle scenes and how things are resolved along the way.  I ate more today than usual with not many digestive problems.  Tomorrow is Sunday and I imagine it will go like most Sundays.  It is Mother's Day and several of my children have already delivered gifts.

Feeling Better, Doing Little

It may be my expectation that when I get the remedies Nancy recommended next week my health will experience a turn-around, but I've felt better today.  I haven't done much today.  I washed some clothes and put them in the dryer, called Sam's kids and Hannah and Rudy.  I plan to water my plants again when I go out to put the chickens away for the night.  Mostly I rested. 

Steak ambition defeated

I did a few things today but failed to eat the steak I cooked.  I'm hoping Nancy's recommendation of CBD oil proves helpful.  I did some watering and let the chickens in and out and folded laundry.

Misery not Mandatory

I discovered that the pain that dogged my night hours was relieved by deep burping which puts a different face on it.  I paid some bills, sent out the May Newsletter and made some changes to the website.  I conferred with Eliza and her children about their art activity.  I went to Lowe's and purchased a watering can and a set of sprayers that I had delivered to my car.  There are still some things that need to be finished before I go to bed, the dishes, the laundry dried, but I have slowly done a number of things.

Gyro and yogurt with strawberries

I am not as afflicted in my tummy as I was last week.  Today I purchased another gyro since the one last week went well.  Unfortunately it stayed with me most of the day.  I 'washed it down' with some moistened dehydrated strawberries mixed with yogurt and it seems to have worked.  I wanted to increase my calorie intake since I worry about undereating.  According to advice from Nancy I ordered some polyethelene glycol powder for my constipation and some CBD oil to calm my revulsion for fatty meals.  I finally got around to putting some plastic fencing fabric into my planters that a cat attacked in order to discourage further incursions.  I mostly napped today.  Tomorrow I am going up to Bountiful to drive Hannah to a Walmart to buy hair supplies and treat her and Rudy to a treat from Wendy's afterwards.  Then I'll pick up Nancy on my back back through Salt Lake. 

Lawn and Boat

Nancy came down to look at a boat.  She purchased a vessel as large as the one she has in New York.  It needs a lot of work but it cost very little since it had been abandoned at a storage unit and nobody purchased it when the unit contents were auctioned.  She took the Volvo home with her to Salt Lake in anticipation of using it for the coming summer hauling her other boats.  Meanwhile she and Miranda re-positioned my trailer so they could fit the Leaf nearer the house.  This morning the Hancock boys took down a planting box and tilled and conditioned the area near my back swing so they could plant an extension of my new lawn.  They do good work.  This is the first time Calvin has come over to work since he started at Brick Oven.  The quarantine put him on furlough but he will likely soon return now that restrictions are easing.  Adam is too light weight to operate the tiller.  I sorted our my baking supplies and boxed them.  I will have to determine the best way to get them to Meg. 

Wobbly

I nearly fainted while picking up grass seed from Lowes today.  It was due to the mask that cut off my breathing.  Fortunately I made it back to the car without collapsing.  I had purchased a gyro from Arby's in an effort to pump up my calories.  It is possible I have another bleeding tumor and am suffering anemia, but it is also possible I am dehydrated and need to hydrate more often and deliberately.  Needless to say, I hope it is dehydration.  In any case I weighed this morning and came in at 128.4 lbs. which is the lowest I have ever weighed and almost 7 lbs. down from when I last weighed.  It would be utterly ironic if I died from starvation after fighting overweight for most of my life.  The gyro tasted good but a bit sour.  I received a gift of fancy slippers from Eliza with Sam and Meg adding to the pot for mother's day.  They originally cost $175 but Eliza had a gift certificate for $100 that she earned for making masks for donation.  She had planned to purchase fancy shoes for herself but decided to go in on a group gift for me instead.  They will make good house slippers since they have a plastic sole that can be cleaned.  I found that Annie's potential wedding cake baker had to bow out and Meg just purchased a fancy stand mixer for a bargain price and would like to make the wedding cake.  I am bestowing all my fancy pans and layers on her.  She is the kind of person who becomes an expert in things that interest her.  When I went to put the chickens away I discovered that the boys had moved the rubber mats onto the back area so the area that I want to be seeded as lawn is clear except for the planter I want dismantled.  I called Sam at noon and talked to the kids.