Tested limits

I have been at several extremes of experience.  Almost 5 years ago I thought that I was dying with good cause.  Eventually a tumor was removed from my gut and the surgeon who removed it said it was a stage 4 + cancer.  As I lay on the table before the surgery I realized that I could die.  I was content with the idea, not thrilled, but content.  Fortunately I lived through the surgery and chose to follow an alternative path to healing that seems to have worked.  A few years ago I had good reason to suppose that I owned a property worth at least 20 million dollars.  I even had a buyer who was willing to pay a lump sum.  A few days later I realized that I had traded away the property for another that I exchanged for the home I live in.  I value my home, but one of the things I would have done with the wealth was to demolish my home and build it to withstand an earthquake.  After I realized that the wealth was an illusion I was a little disappointed but not much.  One of the aspects of my home that I enjoy is the many ways in which I have changed it to fit me.  Most if not all of these innovations would be lost if I engaged in a total renovation from the ground up.  Dire hunger and real poverty are two states I have not and do not desire to experience.  I fast as a matter of fact, but that is different from dire hunger such as that which drives people to acts of violence or shame.  Some would say that I am poor, but that would be a judgment based on things like relative income and savings.  I need to be more careful in expenditures than I am, but my greatest riches are in things that cannot be entered in a ledger.